Missing Amma

Amma left us on 21st October 2012, Sunday, at around 1:55pm. I was working in the office when I received the news. Amma took her last breath in the car once she reached the compound of No.6. I guess she had been wanting it all this while...

It has been four weeks plus since Amma left us, and up till today, tears still roll down my cheeks whenever I go through the photos we took together. Amma's strong determination and will power to get through Wei's wedding and receptions will always be remembered among us. The pain of losing Amma is still so strong although we believe she's already at a much better place now... It had been ages ago since I last cried myself to sleep and I have been doing this so much recently... Puffy and swollen eyes to work seems normal nowadays... I just hope I will wake up one day and accept the fact gladly that Amma is at a much better place...

Hopefully, Amma is already reborn in the world of Nirvana...

阿嬷，真的很想念你呢...在另一个个世界过得还好么？想念牵着你的手睡觉、想念你的笑容、想念你诵诗、想念着你的一切一切...只想告诉你，来世若有机会我们再当祖孙好吗？阿嬷，我爱你...

Amma smiling happily after Wei kissed her on the cheek at the end of his wedding reception. Taken on 16th Sep 2012, Hotel Equtorial Melaka.

Wei's Penang Reception

And in a blink of eye, the Penang reception has also come to an end, but that doesn't bring a full stop to my busy 3 weeks... Its the peak period of the month...

Was much more busier for this reception as I had to communicate with the supervisor on the serving of the dishes and at the same time do the time keeping and be the emcee. This was a great experience for me although it was definitely a tiring one. My heels were already blistered before dinner even started, a reminder to always have plasters in my wallet.

Thankfully, everything went on rather smoothly this time. A small glitch when the stairs leading up the stage crashed down the platform though and SL's dress got stuck between the pins when a piece of wood got teared... Definitely sent chills down our spine for the next few times we went up and down the stage.

Again, granny teared... And when Wei thanked Amma on stage, I started crying... on the stage... Couldn't hold it any longer... Throughout the dinner, Amma only manage to take the crabmeat soup and dessert. And, the most disgusting thing was you see those people who normally do not care acting away as if how filial they are towards Amma. Worst part, I had to keep the smile on my face. 皮笑肉不笑. I pray hard, very very hard, that my future partner will be a filial one towards his and my parents... I seriously do not understand how would one change so much over the years, from a very filial son to the most infilial son I've come across...

Ended the night by counting the red packets received to pay the bill and it was the second night in so many months which I manage to doze off immediately once I hit the pillow and only woke up after sunrise. I guess my life is meant to be tiring or else I won't be able to sleep peacefully...

The happy family at the end of the reception at Vistana Hotel (29th Sep 2012).

Wei's Actual Wedding Day

And finally, the day has arrived. Only had one hour of sleep and woke up to prepare to leave for Malacca at six in the morning. Couldn't care much once I got up the car and fell asleep for an hour and became wide awake while physically I was still very tired.

And the moment we had been anticipating finally arrived too. Amma manage to stay alert for a while for the tea ceremony before drifting back to sleep again... Tears were welling up when Amma finally took the tea... At least she is present on her favourite grandson's wedding day... One more wedding reception to go before my heart will settle down by a tiny bit...

The bride and groom serving Amma during the tea ceremony (28th Sep 2012).

Amma

Exactly 9 months ago, it was Wei's ROM. Amma was still in a very good condition at that time. She was still her usual cheerful self who smiles most of the time. Amma managed to climb up to the top of Thean Hou Gong although it was quite tiring for her. This is the photo of Amma after we put her on make up and blowed her hair.

Amma on 25th December 2011, Wei's ROM.

Upon returning from work today, mum told me that this morning when Aunty Mary brought Amma to the toilet, she realised there were two drops of bloodstain on Amma's underwear and when mum called today, Amma sounded very tired...

I miss the days where Amma is suddenly all energetic and talkative... It does freaks me out abit, but if given another chance, I will make sure I keep the active interaction between us at the bottom of my heart and replay the memories given as often as possible, reminiscing the good times we had together as grandmother and granddaughter...

Amma together with Dad & Mum at Arenaa De Luxe Hotel Lobby on 17th September 2012.

Amma (Melacca)

Wei's Melacca reception was on 16th September 2012, Sunday. I was the emcee together with Sheau Ying's boyfriend, Ryan. Things went relatively smooth throughout the wedding banquet besides the champagne popping part.

Apparently granny cried during the dinner... All of us felt so sad, SuLin and I went to the ladies and cried. We know that the time is coming very soon, but all of us seems so reluctant to let granny go. She is the best granny I can ever ask for. No complaints when her children and grandchildren does not treat her well enough. No complaints although the she was already in pain. No complaints even though we can see that her situation seems to be worsening. She is the best elder one to take care of...

Amma, I really love you so much... but I'm so scared to hear your weak voice over the telephone... I am still coming to terms that life is about birth, age, sickness and death...

Lunch at 北棧 the next day after the Melacca reception.